We truly live in a glorious age. One in which we float atop a sea of information, and masterly navigate the perils of the internet. We sit smugly in the captains’ quarters of the HMCS iPhone knowing we can answer any question, or solve any problem, while keeping our twitter followers posted every step of the way. Gone are the days when you would have to manually type in a URL, painstakingly log in, just to check something as redundant as your email. …..ugh! The very thought of it makes me want to vomit…..then google my symptoms and find out why thinking of the past makes me nauseous.
While I type this blog I am tweeting. That tweet gets redirected to facebook. Facebook will email me when my FB bffl’s comment on my hilarious post, which is good because I need to kill time while I mayor another location in foursquare and wait for porn to buffer in safari. What did we do before smart phones? How did we even survive as a species?
This one time, I was taking a walk through the forest (as I often do) when I stubbed my toe on a fallen tree. Now I know what your thinking “Steve, this is like 127 hours all over again” but I’ll stop you there. Even though I was severely wounded and alone in the woods with no wifi, I endured. I managed to pull myself up onto this flat rock near a clearing in the tree line. This provided enough reception for my 3G to activate, and allow me to contact a medical professional…. But I digress. The questions I’m trying to raise is this: With endless entertainment, educational, and social possibilities waiting for us on our phones, how can we be expected to focus on our jobs for more then 5 minutes at a time?
This leads me to the next installment of:
9 to 5: Your Definitive Guide to Office Survival
Step 4: Iphone ShmiPhone
If you’re like me, you have undoubtedly been questioned about your phone use during business hours. And like me, if you have followed steps 1 through 3, you know very well that filling 7 idle hours at the office is near impossible without it. So, how do we use our phones without being reprimanded by management? The answer is simple: incorporate your phone use into everyday business tasks.
A calculation needs to be done? Use your phone. Setting up a meeting next week? Open your calendar and let your boss select the day. Debating something in a meeting? Google a relevant point and share your findings with the group. Make it clear you don’t “play on your phone” you streamline business operations with new technology mother fucker! .... and that’s money in the bank. This technique will slowly, but surely turn your bosses verbal warnings into accolades and pay raises.
Until next time…. Ttyl #dogfucking
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