The Steve-Dave Reality Tour

Eamon's Pizza Restaurant

My nine year old son, Eamon, has created an imaginary restaurant and menu. I thought it was realy cute so I decided to perserve it here on this blog for posterity.

He named his restaurant, Pizza O'Math.

Bon Appetit!

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Eamon's Pizza Lovin' Menu

In conjunction with Pizza O'Math

Head Chef - Eamon

Restaurant Manager - James (day)

Restaurant Manger - Daniel (night)

Waiters - Mutsa, Anthony, Makar

 

Beverages

Chocolate Milk	$10
Soda Cola, Diet Cola, Iced Tea, Orange, Ginger Ale, Seven Up, Root Beer	$30
Lemonade (Free Refills)	$50
Mayo Sauce (AKA Luke Sauce)	Free (Prank)
Fanta	$20
Swamp Water	Free
Slushie Strawberry, Blueberry, Banana or Your Choice	$10
Smoothies Strawberry, Blueberry, Banana or Your Choice	$3 $2 per ingredient
Jello Burger Mystery Ingredients	$5
Big Soda Burger Soda, Burger Meat, Ice Cream, Bacon & Gum Drops	$500

Pizzas

#1 - Chicken Zilla BBQ Sauce, Mozzarella, Chicken, Bacon, Broccoli	$0 (extra-small) $15 (small) $25 (medium) $30 (large)
#2 - Big Daddy Tomato Sauce, Mozzarella, The Works, Extra Pepperoni, Extra Mushrooms Eamon was inspired by his Dad	$5 (extra-small) $20 (small) $30 (medium) $35 (large)
#3 - Jeff O'Narr Donair Sauce, American Cheese, Donair Meat, Frank's Red Hot, Tomato, Onion	$0 (extra-small) $10 (small) $15 (medium) $20 (large)
#4 - Big Bash Tomato Sauce, Mozzarella, Pepperoni, Lettuce, Ham, Tomatoes	$5 (extra-small) $1 (small) $27 (medium) $50 (large)
#5 - The Assister Tomato Sauce, Mozzarella, Bacon, Cheddar Cheese	$0 (extra-small) $10 (small) $30 (medium) $90 (large)
#6 - Luke O'Nator (aka The Lizard) Mayo Sauce, Mozzarella, Anchovies, Bacon, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Spinach, Mushrooms, A&W Burger Meat	$8 (small) $10 (medium) $20 (large)

Sides

Garden Salad Mixed Greens, Carrots, Blueberries, Onions	$50
French Fries Fresh Cut with Salt or Sea Salt	$40 (salted) $80 (sea salted)
Baked Potato Butter, Salt	$50 (each)
Mashed Potatoes Fully Prepared with Extra Salt	$50 (family sized portion)

Desserts

Ice Cream Chocolate, Strawberry, Pistachio, Vanilla	$10 (each)
Chocolate Pizza Bite-Sized Chocolate or White Chocolate	$20
Jello Castle Jello in a Castle-Form Held Together with Corn Starch	$5

Brokeback Igloo - The Tale of Two Gay Penguins

There are some gay penguins in Toronto and there is only one solution: pussy. 

However, I am skeptical of this lasting. It didn't work for Heath and Jake and I don't think it's going to last here.

So what if Buddy likes getting his penguin dick sucked by a Pedro?

Buddy left his wife for Pedro for Christ's sake! It doesn't get more obvious than that.

It's all being covered up under the conspiracy of "mating". I know the truth.

It's still a cool story:

“Gay penguins to be separated’’ reads a headline on the ABC News website.

Love is in the air... male African penguins Buddy and Pedro are exhibiting signs of mating behaviour.

The Toronto Zoo plans to separate Buddy and Pedro to mate with other female African penguins there, because the penguins are endangered. Buddy and Pedro have great genes for breeding. A video of the penguins uploaded to YouTube had more than 70,000 views by Tuesday evening.  

Before Buddy, 20, met Pedro, 10, in an all-male flock in Toledo, Buddy had a female partner for 10 years and even produced a few offspring.

Since “pair-bonding’’ in Ohio and later moving to Toronto in May to join a group of 10 other male and female African penguins for breeding purposes, Buddy and Pedro have barely left each other’s side. But in a few weeks they’ll be paired up with younger females in the group, Buddy with Farai, 3, and Pedro with Thandiwey, 4.

Each pair will have a room to themselves in the penguin house, with a box for the egg they produce. The penguins will guard their nest area. 

Via thestar.com

Meet Frank and Louie, the Two-Faced Cat

WORCESTER, MASS. — Frank and Louie the cat was born with two faces, two mouths, two noses, three eyes — and lots of doubts about his future.

Now 12 years old, he is is the longest surviving member of a group known as Janus cats, named for a Roman god with two faces.

His owner says every day is a blessing because such cats usually survive only for a few days.

Via www.thestar.com

Classic TV 101: Ghostbusters (of the not so "real" variety)

Who you gonna' call? Not these guys.

Ghostbusters was cartoon TV show based on a live-action television show from 1975-1976 titled The Ghost Busters.

This is a direct follow-up to my previous blog where I covered that oher Ghostbusters cartoon. The two franchises are not related other than their name. This show forced the other to tack "real" onto their name.

This cartoon ran from 1986 to 1987 for a total of 65 episodes. I'm a little unsure how they did that may episodes in such a short time.

At first, I didn't remember there being a second "Ghostbusters" cartoon. However, upon doing my research and watching the clip below it all came back to me in a flash. Perhaps it will for you too.

Jake Kong, Eddie Spenser and Tracy the Gorilla are The Ghost Busters. Why they had a gorilla on the team is a matter I'm not clear on. There were plenty of people looking for jobs during the 1980s recession is unclear and outrageous to me.

Apparently, Tracy is extremely smart and is credited with inventing all of the "Ghostbusting gadgets". Tracy is also very powerful and uses his strength to get out of tight spots. Unlike the live-action series where he only wore various hats (most commonly a beanie), in this series, he wears a fedora, backpack and khaki shorts....

Planet of the Apes come to mind for anyone else?

Together, they have dedicated themselves to ridding the world of the evil ghost wizard Prime Evil and his cast of henchmen.

Anyways, the wraps up my two-part special on all cartoons "Ghostbusters". Well, that't not exactly true. There are a few other spin-offs, but they dreadful and will not be brought up anytime soon.

Peace!

Classic TV 101: Under The Umbrella Tree

Under The Umbrella Tree was a Canadian children's TV show that featured three puppets and a woman who share a house on Spring Street in a suburb of Ottawa, Ontario.

The characters include Holly (a human), Iggy (an iguana), Jacob (a Blue Jay), and Gloria (a gopher). The show's title is derived from the fact that the characters live together in a home featuring a prominent indoor umbrella tree.

This was a stable of morning teleivision when I was a kid. It was weekday morning show between Mr. Dressup and Sesame Street.

It originally aired on CBC from 1986–1993 for a total of 280 episodes. 

Holly serves as a parental figure and mentor for the three puppet characters. She affectionately refers to Iggy, Gloria and Jacob as her 'roommates', although she seems to handle most of the day-to-day running of the household such as cleaning, cooking, and is the one who pays the rent. 

Anyone else feel bad for Holly?

Classic TV 101: The Littlest Hobo

The Littlest Hobo was a Canadian television series than ran on CTV from 1979 to 1985 for a total of 114 episodes.

I watched this show a lot when I was a kid during stints in Nova Scotia with grandparents. I still love the theme song.

The show features a stray German Shepherd who wanders from town to town, helping people in need. Although the concept was similar to that of Lassie, the Littlest Hobo did not have an owner, and despite the attempts of the many people whom he helped to adopt him, he appeared to prefer to be on his own, and would head off by himself at the end of each episode.

Never actually named on-screen, the dog is often referred to by the name Hobo (though he was often given names by his many temporary owners). Hobo's background is also unexplained on-screen, his origins, motivation and ultimate destination are never explained. Although there were recurring actors in both series, the only constant was the dog.

The adventures that the hobo went on were insane. Some of them were semi-belieivable while others bordered into fantasy.

Here are some of the highlights from his exploits (remember that he is a dog):

• 1.8: Hobo protects an elderly prospector from greedy land-grabbers.
• 1.20: Hobo mans a disco control panel and helps the victim of an underworld frame-up.
• 1.21: When a distraught East European woman named Ines, who is in Canada illegally, abandons her baby daughter Maria on the steps of a church, Hobo appoints himself guardian of the child – eventually managing to reunite mother and child.
• 2.12: When famous television personality Joey Jackson finds himself being blackmailed over a secret he has harboured all his life, Hobo becomes the instrument to foil the blackmail plot and bring Joey to the realization that he must face his past squarely – no matter the consequences.
• 2.18: When famous television personality Joey Jackson finds himself being blackmailed over a secret he has harboured all his life, Hobo becomes the instrument to foil the blackmail plot and bring Joey to the realization that he must face his past squarely – no matter the consequences.
• 3.5: Hobo comes upon the scene of what appears to be a boating accident at a hunting club, and discovers evidence which indicates foul play. When the police arrive, however, an innocent man is accused and only Hobo can bring the authorities the one essential piece of evidence which forces the real culprit to tip his hand.
• 3.8: Hobo comes across an old farmhouse where a young mute girl and her father are being blackmailed into conducting fake seances. By cleverly investigating and manipulating the mechanics of the ruse, Hobo is able to break the blackmailers' hold, stop the fraud, and free the father and daughter.
• 3.18: Hobo joins forces with inept private eye Rex Badger, who perfected his style watching old movies. As Badger plods through a series of comic clues, Hobo keeps several steps ahead of him and enables him to finally put the pieces together and wind up with the credit.
• 4.10: Hobo tries to keep a rabid raccoon from coming into contact with anyone while attempting to alert authorities to its whereabouts.
• 6.2: Hobo solves the theft of priceless statues.
• 6.10: Hobo rescues people from a burning factory.
• 6.14: A mime and a deaf boy help Hobo prevent a robbery.
• 6.18: Hobo finds an undetonated World War II bomb.

A Wave of Disbelief, then Disgust...Followed by Thirst

Good morning,

I hope your day started better then mine. This morning, as I settled in my office for a breakfast muffin, I decided to browse the typepad website. When I clicked on the Showcase section I was hit with a wave of disbelief, then disgust…. followed by thirst. I promptly drank the mixed berry juice box I brought from home, and started writing this blog.

The source of my disbelief (and thirst) was The Steve-Dave Reality Tours’ lack of mention on the showcase. I stayed there, scrolling through the list of worthy blogs slowly mouthing the words “why…..god?”, hoping for an answer. But none came. 

How can Beer Leaguer – “Alternative view points on the Philadelphia Phillies” (there are alternative views on this topic?) be up there, but SDRT – “The greatest Canadian export since prohibition era whiskey” not? Mind boggling, I know.

Let’s play a game. I’ll give you a list of categories, and you tell me where SDRT belongs.

 -         Creatives

-         Commentators

-         Industry Experts

-         Business

-         Wordsmiths

-         Personal Bloggers

If you answered “all of the above” you are correct! Let’s take a look at the answer key.

 -         Creatives (Are we creative??? You be the judge)

-         Commentators (Ya, on life)

-         Industry Experts (have you seen our website? Heard our show?)

-         Business (we have advertisers. Its like bad boy entertainment over here)

-         Wordsmiths (read one of my blogs? King kong ain’t got shit on me!)

-         Personal Bloggers (we are people….and we blog. Checkmate)

Each category seems more fitting then the last, yet we still sit on the outskirts of the online community cold and alone.

Dad Talk made it on the list. Why not us? Are we not fatherly enough? Dave has a son, and he named me godfather. That makes Dave a dad, and me a dad in Christ. Is it because we don’t have a picture of a kid standing too close to the camera? Is that the edge we’re missing? Would that be the final push that would launch us to the Showcase dais? What’s wrong with our logo, and our take on the lethal weapon 3 poster? I look adorable in that picture, and we all know it!

 

Sigh…. Much like what Batman is to Gotham, I once again must be to the Internet. I can’t be the hero you need, only the hero you deserve. This is why I’m announcing the epic and much anticipated return of Blog On Blast!

Buckle up…. Episode 60 is going to get real….real fast!

Vancouver Kissing Couple

This is one of those beautiful moments. Almost like out of a movie. What song should be playing?

This was all in the chaos of the Vancouver riots following the Canucks' loss in the Stanley Cup final. A moment of serenity.

The couple in this now-famous photo have been identified as Scott Jones and Alexandra Thomas. If you haven’t seen it, Jones, 29, is lying on a street locked in an embrace with girlfriend, Thomas, as they’re flanked by riot police Wednesday night.

“She had actually been injured,” Brett Jones told the Star Friday morning from his home in Perth, Australia. “She had been knocked down by a shield” from the riot police.

“He lay down next to her to comfort her. She was crying and he just kissed her to calm her down.”

“How’s that for making love, not war,” astonished dad Brett Jones declared on his Facebook page, telling the world that the famous Romeo in a Vancouver riot picture is his son.

via www.thestar.com

A Raccoon Takes On Mother Russia

and damn well almost wins his freedom....

The mighty Russians are no match for one raccoon. I'd be running away too.

In case you weren't aware, Steve is of Russian decent. I think this video answers a lot of questions about him.

A runaway raccoon defied rescue workers as it ran wild through the streets of Kaliningrad, Russia after escaping from the local zoo on Tuesday. Zoo officials say the speedy critter has settled down since being returned to its enclosure.

via www.thestar.com

Puppies!

Hey guys,

So I never thought I, out of everyone, would have a blog, but seeing this video has made me realize that there are some things I need to share with the world.

So.... I hope you all enjoy. And by the way, fuck the super bowl cuz puppy bowl rocks!!!